Striving not Thriving: How to be nicer to yourself in the meantime

A few weekends ago, I discovered something.  Something big.

My to-do list was a mile long, and every thing I tried to cross off wouldn't budge.   And if you're like I am, when you hit resistance, you push back a little harder, kick it into high gear, and with grit and gumption you clinch your jam determine to figure it out even if it takes you an inordinate amount of time and energy.  You're gonna make it work at all costs.

Example:  I could NOT and can NOT for the life of me uncover why a pop up form I created on Mailchimp (I have the free account which does not offer email or chat support, zilch!) is malfunctioning.  You know what a pop up is - it's a small box that pops up on your screen when you first visit a website. Often, there's a freebie or something of value to you that is available in exchange for your email address.

Needless to say, I spent about 3 hours trying to figure this out--I went to goggle, youtube--and nada.  I read on Mailchimp's site, rewrote the form, disconnected and reconnected my website using code, over and again--and no dice.  Finally, I bailed.

Defeat and feelings of overwhelm crowded in on my mind and heart.  Okay, fine.  Next on the list?  It gets worse.     

Then I shifted to my YouTube channel.  I wanted to figure out how to change my home page.  Confession:  I really don't know what a playlist is - and this info might have helped me.  I just wanted to organize my video clips, record a trailer for the channel, and look a tad more "professional" over there. 

But....once again, I hit a brick wall.  Why is this so hard, I thought?!  Why aren't these platforms easy to navigate and intuit my way through?  So I searched for how to videos....and finally, finally, I found one that explained the process with a current channel view.    

So now I knew how, but fast forward an hour later as I faced confusion on exactly how to actually organize my videos.  I wanted 4 sections:  mindsets, thoughts, emotions/feelings, and health.  BUT the topics overlap so much, this simple choice was not as easy as I thought.  Again, frustration and overwhelm.

In exasperation, I wondered:  What are you trying to teach me, Lord.  I've so much to do.  So many projects. So much writing, podcasts to record.  Homework to grade. Emails to write.  Why is this day so hard for me!?! I'm going bonkers!

By now what might have taken a total of about 30 minutes consumed the most productive time of my day.  I was disgruntled with my loss of time and foggy brain.

I poured my heart out to God...and I think He gently reminded me that I was striving not thriving.  

So, I took a deep breath, put the kettle on, and decided to "reboot."  

I don't know why some days are harder than others. I only know they are.  I am learning to pause and simply let some things go.  Oh, I'll come at it again on another day, but I want to be a bit wiser about how to progress through each  otherwise unusual task. Perhaps I could give myself 30 total minutes and then move on. This way, I won't drive myself bonkers.  

How about you?  Ever have one of those days?  How did you handle it?  Got any tips? Please comment below. :)