I found myself chatting recently with a co-worker about her quest to find "Mr. Right." I later pondered our conversation a bit and came up with 5 Critical Starter Questions for Dating Couples that I encouraged her to consider regarding her quest to find her one and only.
1. Does that special someone draw you to Christ? Are they devoted to the Word of God? Is it meaningful in their life? Is their faith growing or stagnant? Do they desire being with the fellowship of believers? In what ways do they worship? Do they value prayer, alone and together? And where do you stand?
2. Can you picture their vision for the next 3 years? 5 years? 10 years? What are their plans? Where are they heading? Are they a dreamer or a do-er? And what are you? Do you both share common goals and aspirations? Do you mutually inspire one another?
3. Whom are they serving now and how? Whom we serve often reflects the condition of our hearts. Are they all about business? All about play? All about self or all about others? Do they serve within their family, their church, their community and in what ways? Where and how do they invest most of their time and energy? And what about you?
4. How do they express? What is their personality like? Are they willing to grow, to change, to be transformed? How do they deal with stress, sadness, and anger? How do they demonstrate joy and happiness? Are they truthful and transparent? Prone to grace or grudges? What habits have they formed? How do the words they say reflect what is hidden in their heart? And how are you characterized emotionally and spiritually?
5. Do they feel comfy, like an old pair of shoes? Do you share similar interests, hobbies, and preferences? Are you compatible? Do you enjoy hanging out together whether laughing, crying, haranguing, or just goofing off? Do they mesh nicely with your family and friends?
I have often heard that the best way to meet that special someone is to become that special someone. Too often we are so intent on finding just the right person who seems to "fill" us that we forget that the central reason we marry ought to be to pour ourselves out. After all, the music will fade and the dust will settle. And, of course, no one is perfect. But if we approach a committed relationship with the purpose to first serve God, He will show us and teach us how to do life and marriage His way.
A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
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