Just One More Time

Sometimes I wonder if pursuing God is really "worth" it.  The cost seems so high at times. Sometimes I feel so tired. Emptied and unnoticed by God. Sometimes He seems so quiet. Sometimes the trial is more than I can bear. 

But then I remember the bankruptcy of my old self and the price paid to get me here. And a wave of relief rushes over me.   And I remember my own dear Grandmother and that faith that never wavered, that "dwelt" in her.  And I am encouraged in my soul to continue to do good, to try, to pour myself out. Just one more time. 

I shift my focus and pray:





Lord,

Help me to offer love, instead of desiring so much to receive it.
Help me to show kindness, instead of hoping to be shown kindness.
Help me to become more compassionate, instead of waiting for compassion to come my way.
Help me to invest in the lives of others, instead of longing for someone to invest in my life.
Help me to make the dreams of others a reality, instead of striving to achieve my own.
Help me to fan into flame this faith that dwells within me, instead of relying on feelings to strike the match.
Help me to be appreciative and thankful for the countless blessings You bestow, instead of pricked by blessings that elude me.

Take me as I am, Lord,
and teach me
Your ways.
Then try me
test me
prove to me
I am Yours.
Just one more time.

Amen.

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“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said,
‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’”
John 7:38