Insecurities Notwithstanding

Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress,
and for their children it will be a refuge.
Proverbs 14:26

Insecurity.  Have you ever wrestled with it?  I just arose from a knock-down, drag-out match with this formidable opponent.  Not pretty.  So of course, I did my "Bible" google on the word...nope, couldn't find it.  So then I searched for any opposites.  The opposite of insecure is secure. Bingo. 

Digging to the root verbal meaning, I found associated with security:  To strengthen my countenance and put on a shameless look*.  Yes! That's what I need when I feel the most insecure.  But how did I get here and how do I rise above?

What makes me feel insecure?  Well, sometimes I feel less fun, less interesting, less happy-go-lucky, less attractive, less confident...while I feel more strict, more naggy, more parental, more nosy, more bossy than I want to.  And before I know it, tapping on my shoulder for one more boxing round is my familiar foe: insecurity.

Can I just tell you that I am a Christian--and sometimes I worry about my kids and my job and my future?  That I am a Christian, and though I serve a God who is omnipotent and omnipresent, my mind races so much when my head hits the pillow at night that sleep eludes me?  That I am a Christian, but sometimes I feel unsure of myself and less-than?  Sometimes I am just not the mom I really want to be, and I fear my kids will find a replacement who is less of what they need but more of what they want. Sigh. Even for me, a born-again Christian, the road is messy and bumpy and full of potholes that knock the alignment right out of my walk.  

So how do we whip insecurity?  If we look at Proverbs 14:6 carefully, we need to zone in on the first part: "whoever fears the LORD."   Ahh...now we're on to something.    Revering the Lord.  Once I begin pulling my mind in this direction, my face and eyes begin to change. I'm now looking at the Lord and not my circumstances.  I press myself to remember that my heavenly Father is unchanging and true, so unlike the shifting sands of my temporal emotions and feelings.  Not only do I benefit from squaring this out with the Lord, but so do my children!    

To beat insecurity I must take captive those thoughts that are contrary to the Truth (a knock-down, drag-out match of a different flavor).  I must remind myself repeatedly that I am to fear the Lord, not man.  Not only does my heart begin to change internally, but my facial expressions begin to bear witness and my eyes begin to shine from my reverence for the Lord.  And suddenly, by the power of the Spirit within me, the tide of the battle shifts.  

Is it really this easy? Of course not.  It's warfare.  But Truth always rises, and fearing God has greater power than any other kind of fear we give way to.  In the meantime when it feels like I'm losing to a thousand insecurities, it's best to bring the Lord into the equation, full center. When I have a desire to honor God, there is nothing, I repeat nothing, that will offer my children and me a greater source of safety, security, or refuge.  

"Make Your face to shine upon Your servant; Save me in Your lovingkindness.:
Psalm 31:16



 *Blue Letter Bible. "Dictionary and Word Search for `oz  (Strong's 5797)". Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2013. 9 Mar 2013. <  http://   www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H5797&t=KJV >