CHOOSE 2 THINK
  • Home
  • Mentoring
  • FUM Online Course
  • Podcast
  • Books & Membership
  • FREEBIE
  • Blog
  • Exclusives
  • Merch
    • Amazon Merch
  • Podcast Guest Form
  • Guest Writers
  • Connect
  • Media Kit
  • Declutter Challenge
  • Fired Up Mind Challenge
  • Home
  • Mentoring
  • FUM Online Course
  • Podcast
  • Books & Membership
  • FREEBIE
  • Blog
  • Exclusives
  • Merch
    • Amazon Merch
  • Podcast Guest Form
  • Guest Writers
  • Connect
  • Media Kit
  • Declutter Challenge
  • Fired Up Mind Challenge
Search
Intellifluence Trusted Blogger
Picture

Finding Comfort when We Mourn

4/2/2019

 
Picture
Finding comfort after we lose someone we love may be the hardest challenge we may ever face in our lifetimes.  In some cases, it can take years to come to a place of complete acceptance.  The grieving process is highly personal, and the emotions to process the new reality run the gammit.  The time of mourning also varies and is unique for each individual.
Picture
In searching the Bible for instances when someone grieved over the loss of a loved one, I wondered:   What did they do?  How did they respond?  Where did they find comfort?

Below are a few ideas of healthy, heart healing ways to  find comfort when we are mourning.  There are a few things we can do to help ourselves heal and to find comfort in God as we grieve.  If we turn to worldly distractions and counterfeit comforts, we will likely only delay our journey toward health and wholeness.
Picture
Sometimes we find comfort that only comes by way of physical touch and intimacy.
​
Isaac was very close to his mother Sarah.  After Sarah died, the Scripture tells us how Isaac was comforted by his new wife Rebekah:  "Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death"  (Gen. 24: 67).

Needing to be touched and held is a natural desire when we are hurting.  We need someone to step beside us and show us empathy and compassion.  The act of hugging is mutually beneficial as often other family members or friends are also grieving; a simple hug helps both parties. 

​Even receiving affection from our pets (Rico has not made the blog in a while - so enter Rico, stage right) can be deeply rewarding and comforting.  

When we grieve over the death of a loved one, we need people to help us, rally beside us, support us, cry with us, laugh with us.  We need our tribe.  We need empathy and tenderness in our relationships, and physical touch and affection can be a powerful step in the healing process.
Picture
Sometimes we find comfort in solitude and rest.
​
When Jesus's cousin, John the Baptist, was beheaded, it is written that Jesus encouraged his disciples saying, "Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while” (Mar 6:32).   Luke writes "Taking [the disciples] with Him, He withdrew by Himself to a city called Bethsaida" (Luke 9:19). 

Jesus made a habit of visiting His heavenly Father often to pray and commune with Him.  How critically important to seek comfort from our heavenly Father who also gave His son over to death on a cross.  Do we think He understands what we are feeling? 

​We can comfort ourselves a bit by slowing down and refueling our tanks.  Some of us are battle weary.  We are just worn out.  Maybe we were the care givers for our loved ones, maybe their passing was long and drawn out.  And the days following the funeral, we find ourselves positively spent, empty, and listless.  Or maybe their death was sudden and unexpected.  This might be a good time to pause, to face our feelings, and to recollect our thoughts as we attempt to come to grips with our new reality. 

Can we seek the One who can fill our empty tanks and then rest in His presence and power?
Picture
Sometimes we find comfort when we face our own transgressions and our need for forgiveness.
King David, a man after God's own heart, had serious family issues.  When he received the report that his son Amnon was dead [killed at the hand of his brother Absalom for raping their sister]  "...the king arose, tore his clothes and lay on the ground..." (​ 2 Sa 13:31).   

Later when his son Absalom was murdered, we see David responding in this way:  "The king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And thus he said as he walked, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!” 2Sa 18:33 

I really wonder when in the grieving process that David reckoned with his life, his missteps, and faced the consequences of his choices regarding his family.  I'm sure he suffered a few, "if only's" and "why didn't I's"  along the way.  He may have been overcome with regret. 

​Many of us have unresolved guilt and regret mixed and deeply interwoven into our grief.  Unfortunately, some of us are quick to blame ourselves for the death of the one we love.  We think maybe there was something else we could have done to have prevented our loved one's passing. Where do we find comfort then? Sometimes when we mourn, it seems that we must also confess our fears, our regrets, our anger, our blame, our self-focus in order to move on.  

After Absalom died, David mustered the courage to return to business as usual, so to speak, and to regroup the nation back in Jerusalem. Yet what can we say of David?

David penned so many of the most beautiful psalms.  He poured out his heart to the Lord and consistently affirmed the truth of God's character in each song.  He never wavered in His affirmations, and one might assume that this belief gave him great comfort in his humanness as he repented and mourned.  
Picture
​Sometimes we find comfort by praising God. 
​
When Job received news that all of his sons and daughters had died together, his response seems supernatural to me: "Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped.  He said, 'Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.' Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God" ​Job 1:20-22.

Job demonstrated unrelenting faith and trust.  He never gave way to anger toward God or sank to the depths of self-pity, or How could you, God? or  Why, God, why?  Job went so far as to bless God's name.  When he received the devastating news, he knelt down and worshiped his God.  He found comfort in his strong relationship with the Lord.

My Grandmother is the perfect example of someone who praised God in her grief.  She lost seven of her ten children and two husbands to death in her lifetime, yet she never lost her faith or blamed God.  She chose to cling tighter to God each and every time.  She never let go.  Oh to know her private conversations with God and the comfort she received from Him.  She also knew her loved ones were going to a better place.  
Picture
Sometimes we find comfort when we see the bigger picture.  
Jesus encouraged His disciples to rejoice in His leaving them as an act of love because He was going to His Father (John 14:28).  He also reminded them that the Father would send the Holy Spirit, the Comforter,  "I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth..." (John 14:16).  Jesus knew that sorrow filled their heart, but He encouraged His disciples, "it is to your advantage that I go away" (John 16:6).

As Christians, we have the wonderful privilege to abide in the Holy Spirit, our Comforter, Counselor, Advocate, and Intercessor.  The Holy Spirit, who hears our prayers and rushes in to breathe life into our weary, saddened souls.  He strengthens us and encourages us.  He is always with us.  He reminds us that this is not our home--we are sojourners, longing for the happily-ever-after.  ​
...and [God] will wipe away every tear from their eyes;
and there will no longer be any death;
there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; ”
 Rev 21:4

Picture
In the midst of our grief, we can find blessing.  

In His well-known sermon on the mount and from the list of Beatitudes, Jesus declares:  "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" (Mat. 5:4).    Although being blessed when we mourn seems counter-intuitive, there is a divine promise of comfort involved.   

I hope and pray that you can receive that blessing, friend and that you will count yourself grateful in this trial.   And then, when the time is right, you will reach out to comfort others in their grief.  

I have remembered Your ordinances from of old,
O LORD, And comfort myself.

Psa 119:52

Comments are closed.
    Picture

    Hot Topics

    All
    Addiction
    Books
    Brain
    C2T Digital Courses
    C2T Merch
    Choose 2 Think Podcast
    Comfort
    Conflict
    Creativity
    Current Events
    Day To Day
    Detox
    Devotional
    Emotions
    Fear
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Guest Blogger
    Health
    Heart And Mind
    Home Ec
    Hope
    JOY
    Ky Small Biz
    Love
    Marriage
    Menopause
    Mindsets
    NANApreneurship
    Non Profit Organizations
    Patience
    Praise
    Psalms
    Restoration
    Shame
    Small Biz
    Spain
    Surveys
    Thought Strategy Session
    Trust

    RSS Feed

    All content © Victoria D. Walker, 2013-2022.
All rights reserved. Copyright ©VictoriaD.Walker, 2013-present.  Material from  choose2think.co  may not be copied,  reproduced, or distributed in any way without consent.  Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation.  Use by permission.  (www.Lockman.org).   Bragging rights for stock photos go to UnSplash, Pexels, Pixabay, and Canva.    The information contained on this website  is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as health or medical advice. Always consult a physician or other qualified health provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or health objectives.  Your information is safe with us. If you opt in to our newsletter or provide personal information such as name and email, this information is never sold.  *As an Amazon Associate I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases. 
Photos used under Creative Commons from INTVGene, photoloni, classroomcamera, Rosenfeld Media, david.nikonvscanon, Free For Commercial Use (FFC), Ionics, Georgie Pauwels, Free For Commercial Use (FFC), Art4TheGlryOfGod by Sharon, Antonio Marano, libertyslens, jafsegal (Thanks for the 4 million views), glen.dahlman, Mister-E, h.koppdelaney, sarah|rose, Agnes_F, pennuja, Daquella manera, TomCollins, erink_photography, torbakhopper, AntonStetner, Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library, UofT, Javcon117*, Carl Campbell, bud ellison - from the street, VIVOBAREFOOT, Free For Commercial Use (FFC), Elin B, DeeAshley, auntjojo, dejankrsmanovic, One Click Group UK, barnimages.com, Steve @ the alligator farm, x1klima, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, Ktoine, trendingtopics, wuestenigel, AntonStetner, marcoverch, marciadotcom, wuestenigel, berniedup, Mannia&Titta, Semtrio, wuestenigel, Joe The Goat Farmer, anaulin, dejankrsmanovic, Ramona.Forcella, RichardBH, Brett Jordan, Phototravelography, MixedGrill, Free Public Domain Illustrations by rawpixel, spaceodissey, Horia Varlan, SupportPDX, Kevin Doncaster, Kiwi Mikex, bluebirdsandteapots, ccPixs.com, marcoverch, jennnster, Tobyotter, Fan.D & Dav.C Photgraphy, francesxcabrini, cuatrok77, Liam Quinn, mattieb, Sam Howzit, Bombardier, geyergus, josemanuelerre, mike.harris666, j neuberger, velkr0, Jonathan Kos-Read, AK Rockefeller, alsteele, chrisbulle, pasotraspaso, Vox Efx, lrargerich, KnockOut_Photographs, Steve Snodgrass, ictsan, padshewscky, rob.wall, RLEVANS, lcm1863, CarbonNYC, Pink Sherbet Photography, faungg, jean-louis zimmermann, The Moving Architects, ell brown, S. Parker, mikebaird, Clevergrrl, iamthatphotoguy, arka D, martinteschner, Tim Green aka atoach, Daniel E Bruce, FutureLight Studios, Sweet Carolina Photography, Lauren Manning, 【J】, dullhunk, amslerPIX, TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³, Aya Demeter Photography & Design, worobod, hectorlandaeta, Pavel ahmed, skedonk, philnelson, El Bibliomata, h.koppdelaney, Albion Europe ApS, ~Merete, Randy Son Of Robert, khawkins04, .Bala, Perspective on Art, EricaJoy, Afroswede, ZerO 81, Jaypeg21, PhoTones_TAKUMA, W J (Bill) Harrison, Skinned Mink, Craig Spence, myhsu, margaretsdad, Rosenwald, ilkerender, jessleecuizon, Carlos Gracia, Patrick Feller, zigazou76, daniel spils, Grafik Mekanik, MeganMc89, jenny downing, FutureLight Studios, Kelly Colgan Azar, Patrick Hoesly, Claudio , fireflythegreat, rmhowie, mollystevens, LornaWatt, phrawr, MAMJODH, OliBac, TenaciousR, MCetty, visualpanic, ChadCooperPhotos, theseanster93, themostinept, Keith Allison, Rodrigo_Soldon, photogramma1, Nesster, VinothChandar, Katie@!, billoberstjr, ~yienshawn92~, rambla, AbbyD11, martinak15, Ed Yourdon, MSVG, wplynn, Manoj Kengudelu, ken2754@Yokohama, Arry_B, quinn.anya, Mister-E, byJoeLodge, gags9999, nick.amoscato, AForestFrolic, steakpinball, patti haskins
  • Home
  • Mentoring
  • FUM Online Course
  • Podcast
  • Books & Membership
  • FREEBIE
  • Blog
  • Exclusives
  • Merch
    • Amazon Merch
  • Podcast Guest Form
  • Guest Writers
  • Connect
  • Media Kit
  • Declutter Challenge
  • Fired Up Mind Challenge