We all feel lonely from time to time. Emotions and feelings, after all, are God-given and although they impact us in many ways, they're typically healthy to have.
Even when we dip pretty low, it's the darkness that makes the stars shine brighter. In other words, without sadness, joy might not take shape and be appreciated. Emotions and feelings help us to feel alive and in tune with our surroundings. They're a normal part of the human existence. They also provide a direct line to our thought life.
What do we do when a feeling, like loneliness, lingers and affects our attitude and mood in negative ways?
There are a few things I've done personally to give "Loneliness" a kick in the pants and boot him out of my mind and heart. Over the years, I've recognized those times I need to be on high alert because I'm more susceptible to that downward emotional spiral that loneliness can initiate. Here are a few scenarios:
And how do I combat the persistent feeling of loneliness when it darkens my outlook and mood and when I can't quite shake it? I take my thoughts captive! (2 Cor. 10:3-5)
I've applied what I call the 5 R's to take thoughts captive, and I've created a free, downloadable info-graphic for you to print as a reminder of the process.
In short, when I'm focusing on myself and feeling really lonely, it is tempting for me to invite self-pity into the playing field of my mind as well. Loneliness and self-pity hold hands together in my book.
I've learned to be keenly aware and RECOGNIZE when I'm focusing on myself or my troubling situation. The toxic thoughts are easy to identify. Let me a list a few that I battle.
You're all alone.
You'll always be alone.
You never have anyone to help you.
If you ask for help, it really bothers the person you ask.
You always have to make all the decisions by yourself.
You don't even have a good sounding board.
You bother your friends too much with your questions.
Everyone else is having so much fun, and here you are all alone.
After recognizing the lies, doubts, and self-limiting thoughts, I RESIST them. Sometimes in a loud voice, I simply say, "No! I'm not going there!" I rebuke the enemy of my soul, resist the temptation to believe the lies I'm telling myself.
From my arsenal of Biblical truths, Scriptural passages, and affirmations, I REPLACE the toxic thoughts. For example, I might remind myself of the following:
The truth is you are NEVER alone, Victoria.
Holy Spirit is always with you.
There are plenty of folks willing to help you at the drop of a hat.
I trust that they will let me know if they can't.
I do make a lot of daily decisions by myself, but God is my biggest sounding board. He will lead me in the right direction daily -
I just have to include Him in the process.
Don't wait or depend on others to have fun.
BE the fun yourself!
Take charge and find opportunities that
revive your heart and mind and jazz up your soul.
You're not a victim. You have so much to be grateful for.
Take your focus off yourself!
Go find someone who is ALONE and be the support THEY may need.
Within just a few seconds of this precise pivoting, I notice that I am in essence being transformed by the RENEWING of my mind. My new, truth-filled thoughts give me a fresh perspective, purpose, direction, and energy.
Finally, I've realized that I must REPEAT the first 4 R's daily for at least 2 months if I'm after lasting brain change. In other words, I don't wait for a scenario to erupt when I feel lonely. I stay ahead of the 8 ball by reminding myself of the Truth each day until that root of rejection and fear (that spawns self-pity and loneliness) is completely obliterated from my heart and mind.
And, YOU, can do this, too. Just give it a try! I promise you'll find joy and peace perhaps like never before.
Get your printable reminder card (a 1-page info-graphic PDF) today! Drop me an email and let me know how it's going! :) I'd love to hear from you!
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